Mike Hall: Thinking about the quirks of life

Contact Mike Hall at mhall19@cox.net.

Over at the Dull People’s Club where I have lunch on Thursdays, they are giddy — by their standards.


Well, they laughed out loud is what they did.

Here’s the joke:

A length of rope went into a bar and asked for a drink.

The bartender said, “We don’t serve ropes here, only people.”

The rope went back out into the street and sat down on the curb. He tied a knot in one end, then frizzed up the end. He went back into the bar and asked for a drink again.

The bartender said, “No. I still can’t give you a drink. You’re still a rope.”

The rope said, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”

Because of the rope’s successful razzle dazzle logic, his friend the jumper cable went into the bar. This time the bartender said, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

— Readers continue sending interesting observations on the quirks of life. For example:

Regular contributor Marijo Mastroianni has found another example of a product with a warning message that makes no sense.

This time, the message was attached to one of those sun screens designed to be placed on the inside of the windshield to reflect some of the heat from the car’s interior on a hot summer day.

“Would you believe those have directions that tell the driver to remove before driving?” she wrote.

There was a time, Marijo, when I wouldn’t have believed it, but now I do.

Polly Epting had a similar experience with a recipe in the newspaper for French onion soup:

The recipe began with “Start to finish: 15 minutes” — indicating it was a quick and simple recipe.

“Then I read the directions,” she wrote, and I abbreviate: “…add onions (to oil) and cook, stirring … about 30 to 40 minutes.

“Bring to a boil … until the sherry is reduced by half” (another 30 minutes?); then “add the broth … bring to a boil … simmer … about 30 minutes.”

“Changed my mind about thinking it would be a quick meal for dinner!” she concluded.

— An anonymous reader (who can blame her for not wanting to be identified?) sent along a brief bit of wisdom, attributed to John Henry Newman: “We can believe what we choose. We are answerable for what we choose to believe.”

Newman was a 19th century theologian and Catholic cardinal. That thought is relevant to today’s political environment where lying has reached such outrageous new lows.

Contact Mike Hall at mhall19@cox.net.



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